Buffalo Tom Peabody

Detective Gunther Tootie: Fancy Tips

Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone parenting tips published today in an effort to appeal directly to the public…

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News Flash!

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Dateline: Tallahassee, Florida
Detective Gunther Tootie reporting

The Fancy (Pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone murder trial is in recess while District Attorney Florian Burnem undergoes his annual colonoscopy screening. I decided to take this time to do some additional investigating.

I have learned that Fancy Brainstone is using her newfound “celebrity and notoriety” to plead her case directly to the public and has written a “tell all” article for Popular Parenting Magazine titled: “Mama’s Busy & Doesn’t Care!” In the article she explains how she would drop Chauncey and Chumlee at Walmart every morning at 8 a.m. and then pick them up every evening at about midnight. “It’s way better than daycare and the hours are better, not to mention my kids like the Walmart employees better than the teachers at daycare….and it’s absolutely free, they have the latest toys and Walmart never closes so it’s also ULTRA-SUPER-convenient. The only…

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Buffalo Tom Peabody

Detective Gunther Tootie: Shocking!

Our Southern Gothic Horror Story takes a bizarre turn in today’s episode…

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Dateline: Tallahassee, Florida
Detective Gunther Tootie reporting:
News Flash!

The entire courtroom was stunned, this morning, when Buffalo Tom Peabody “escorted” Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone’s 80 year old mother, Phoenicia Brainstone-Tubbalardi into the courtroom!

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Despite District Attorney Florian Burnem’s objection,  Phoenicia was allowed to testify as a character witness on behalf of her daughter Fancy!
Phoenicia refuses to believe that Fancy could have fed HER favorite grandson, Chumlee to an alligator! At one point during the proceedings she turned to her daughter and yelled, “I didn’t spend my hard earned money fattening that kid up just so you could feed him to an alligator! Only a big fat stupid idiot, like you, could do something this stupid!”
“I know you are but what am I?” barked Fancy!

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Yesterday, I interviewed Phoenicia’s ex-husband, Giuseppe Tubbalardi…

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At first, Giuseppe wanted to stick to happy memories, like his wedding day…
“I come from…

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Buffalo Tom Peabody

eyeBoogers: Crackpot Fashion

You don’t have to wait until next week! Two more exciting episodes tomorrow!

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You’ll see things you’ll wish you hadn’t. . . eyeBoogers. . .

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Gunther wanted me to remind you to be sure and stay tuned because he will be bringing you more from the Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone murder trial next week!

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Namaste! (That’s Yogi for crime doesn’t pay and Toodles!)

The 9 Lives Of Buffalo Tom Peabody & Gunther Tootie

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Buffalo Tom Peabody

Fancy Brainstone Reveals All

Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone claims that she is the “BRAIN” behind her cousin Ivanka Trump’s Fashion Empire! Ivanka responded by calling Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone “FAKE NEWS!”

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“What’s the matter, haven’t you seen a pretty girl before?” demanded Fancy Brainstone in court today.

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Dateline: Tallahassee, Florida
Undercover Cop, Detective Gunther Tootie reporting:

Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone entered the following photographs into evidence today … In a feeble attempt to rehabilitate her sagging image in the eyes of the jury…

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“It’s difficult to believe that Fancy was 8 months pregnant in these photos” said District Attorney Florian Burnem. “Shame! Shame! Shame! If you think these photos are bad you should see what she has posted on her Facebook account! It’s pure pornography!”

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^
When shown this photograph,  a female juror whispered, “The stripes are a very bad idea.”

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^
“I think she looks like a demented female-alien-wasp-type wrestler with a botched boob job!” said Buffalo Tom Peabody of the spectacle he witnessed in court today.
“I wouldn’t wanna fight her!” said Baby Dozy Mosley!

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Fancy made loud “kissing”…

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Buffalo Tom Peabody

Detective Tootie: Update

Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone…YIKES!

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Dateline: Tallahassee, Florida February 20, 2015
Detective Gunther Tootie, Undercover Cop reporting

News Flash!
Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone murder trial flares up like a nasty rash & it stinks!

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Fancy Brainstone blames the heartbreak of psoriasis for the disappearance of her 8 year old son, “I turned around for just one second to scratch a dry itchy spot . . . none of this would have happened if Walgreens hadn’t run out of my special ITCH cream! . . . and when I turned around, my baby Chumlee was gone! Somebody stole my baby! Walgreens is to blame!”

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District Attorney Florian Burnem claims Fancy took Chumlee into the swamp for the sole purpose of feeding Chumlee to the Gators. He also said,  “We see this sort of thing all the time down here in Florida, women taking their children into the swamp and feeding them to the Gators… They call…

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Buffalo Tom Peabody

Detective Tootie: Undercover Cop

Do we have only ourselves to blame? Are tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans the only answer? I will answer these questions and many more in my exciting new series!
^^ Detective Gunther Tootie
Undercover Cop & 4th Grader

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THE LONG ARM OF THE PAW!

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The story behind me and Buffalo Tom’s SHOCKumentary film sensation…
It’s a cautionary and filthy tale that must be told!

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The Shocking Prequel:
Fancy Brainstone, Mother From Hell!
– Detective Gunther Tootie, reporting.
After a several months long investigation I am now ready to reveal the results of my investigation of Chauncey and Fancy (pronounced Fauncey) Brainstone.
Is Fancy Brainstone an alien, as some speculate, and is Chauncey her and Charles Manson’s evil alien spawn? Sadly, they are both just evil, mentally disturbed and homely humans.

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When Fancy Brainstone was arrested in Gary, Indiana last week she said, referring to her crime spree, “You only have yourselves to blame for this! And don’t try to blame it on aliens or Charlie Manson! You made me this way! I am the victim! Somebody give me a cigarette and a drink!”
21 years ago when Fancy…

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Buffalo Tom Peabody

The Long Arm Of The Paw

Florida where they fear Sharia law more than swamp Gators! Join me as I reveal a tale of murder and intrigue that could only happen in Florida!
^^ Detective Gunther Tootie
Undercover Cop & 4th Grader

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Be here next week when Gunther reveals part 1 of his behind the scenes exposé of our SHOCKumentary film: Community College The Movie!

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Undercover Cop Gunther Tootie will open his private police files!
Get the complete inside scoop on what went wrong with Chauncey Brainstone! You’ll also meet Chauncey’s mother, Fancy (pronounced, Fauncey) Brainstone!
It’s a filthy story of lives gone ALL wrong that must be told!

The 9 Lives Of Buffalo Tom Peabody & Gunther Tootie

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